I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
