She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Randomize
