so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Randomize
