I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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