I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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