can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
