That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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