Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
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