I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
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