Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
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