i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
