Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
operation have a gay friend backfired
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
I got inside last night via doggy door
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Randomize
