I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
Randomize
