He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
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