i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
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