I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Randomize
