my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
