Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
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