i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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