No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Randomize
