her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
