Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
I know her cup size but not her name....
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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