I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
