Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
