Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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