If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
Randomize
