It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
You took a bar mat shot.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
Randomize
