It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
Randomize
