We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
