I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
I don't think brook has ever known best
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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