Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
