there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
We just shotgunned beers for America
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
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