I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
