Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Randomize
