Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
