Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Randomize
