How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
