Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
i just made my gag reflex go away.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
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