if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Randomize
