You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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