john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
