Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Randomize
