Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
