Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
Randomize
