So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
Randomize
