plz talk dirty to me
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
