At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
I wish i was in the wii world.
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
ok first of all what the fuck
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
