If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
Come see our sink grown plant.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
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