So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
I got her a Nickelback box set.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
