He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
Even the bartender felt bad for me
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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