I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
