She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
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